A Festivus for the Rest of Us

OH.

2009-07-22T16:44:00.000-07:00

I'VE got something to vent about.DO NOT pull out directly in front of me...so directly that I engaged my ABS....and then do 40 in a 55,while you talk on the phone and wildly gesticulate to the person in the passenger seat.Oh,NO.Pull the fuck over,asshole.
A commute isn't necessarily a bad thing...but I *have* noticed that the percentage of assholes I meet up with in a day jumped SHARPLY when the length of my commute did.I'm sure there is some calculus theorem for that, but I dodn't do very well in calc, I kept cutting to go to the music suite.Maybe that was a good thing, I do NOT want to know how many assholes are out there. I might start carrying a whip.And a bullhorn. And hot tar and feathers.

Move It Or Loss It Sister

2008-12-14T18:22:00.000-08:00

Don't leave your grocery cart IN the check out line and go off looking for something you forgot. Take the cart with you! Also don't come back after being gone from the check out line 3 minutes later and wonder why someone moved your cart! I have a life, I don't have time to stand behind the cart that YOU abandoned. Leaving your full cart in the check out line does not hold your place in line.

Walking in Parking Lots

2008-12-11T01:37:00.000-08:00

Seriously, unless you REALLY think you would win the battle if I hit you with my SUV....MOVE THE F%#&$ OVER to the side of the aisle and do not walk down the damn middle of it...... Seriously even MY ass isn't that big. Shes lucky she had her kid in the cart or I would have hit her....

Oh Yeah

2008-12-09T10:18:00.000-08:00

I feel your pain Lenore :o) And when those asshats beep at me,to hurry and get out of my spot? I get in the truck,and call a friend.And sit there.Until the person goes away.Usually,*I* am the one hurrying to vacate,but I definitely will give back what I get ;o)

Stop Beeping At Me!

2008-12-06T22:38:00.000-08:00

Okay, I know that it's the holiday season and we all have places to be and things to get done in so very little time, but just because you're in a rush, it doesn't mean that I'm going to speed up for you!

There I am sitting at the light at intersection to Walmart. Yes lady, I can see the light just turned yellow, but do you see the car that appears to be going 50mph in the 30mph zone? I'm not turning in front of him! Stop beeping your horn and flashing your lights at me! I'll wait for the next green light!

Oh, and to the parking lot vulture in the KMart parking lot...Did you not see how many packages I had to unload from my shopping cart?! Can you not see all the other open parking spaces in the lot? Yes, it's farther away than the prime spot that I managed to snag because I came early to the store, but are you seriously beeping at me to hurry up? Hmmmph! I don't need anything else from the store, but yep, I'm going back in just for the hell of it. Go vulturize and beep your horn at someone else!

Stop beeping your horn! You're ruining Festivus for the Rest of Us!
Leonore<---muttering under my breath---Serenity now! Serenity now! =)

Rude People

2008-12-06T22:03:00.000-08:00

I hate rude people. I was in Kroger purusing the baked goods with my sister and I *knew* there was someone behind me. I didn't realize I was in her way. I hear an audible mumbled some kind of rude noise then from the corner of my eye see her yank her buggy/cart away and whoosh past me, past my sister to.... the free cookie samples. OMFG I was blocking the free cookies. To make matters worse she didn't LIKE the free cookie samples and wanted different ones. @@ I wanted to shove free cookies up her.. well, you know where. Oh, but it was for her extremely quiet child sitting in the buggy as nice as could be not making a peep. They weren't for HER. @@ Yeah, whatever.

Express

2008-12-02T06:42:00.000-08:00

OK, the word express as defined by Merriam-Webster is 'traveling at high speed'. Apparently that definition doesn't apply to the grocery store express lane. I do however know the root cause of the lack of speed. CHECKS. I would rant about WTF uses checks anymore, but I know some people still do. I do too, for certain things(school lunch payment, my stylist, etc). I also will write a check if I'm trying to buy a surprise and don't want a debit showing up on the statement as 'Paintballs R Us' or whatever I'm trying to surprise Bill with. I however do NOT write checks in the express line. I think they just shouldn't be allowed...cash, credit or debit only. Get your shit and get on your way-and outta mine.

part deux

2008-11-30T08:11:00.000-08:00

My grievance isn't so much the parking lot as in the store.Helloooooooo,you are here to shop,not have reunions in the aisles,effectivly blocking all movement around the department.And if you are a dumb ass enough to stand there for a half hour,do not DARE to give me an eyeroll hen I politely say ""Excuse Me" or the next thing you feel will be my size 9.5 boot upside yo ass. and PLEASE, if your child[ren] are shrieking at the top of their lungs, do not smile at them, and your fellow shoppers, indulgently, as if the shrieking is the cutest thing [and you ALL know what I mean by shrieking,not boisterous kid stuff,but the obnoxious stuff] pick up your child and take them out of the store.Period.We have all been there before,carrying OUR shrieking kids out of the store. All my kids took one time to learn not to shriek in a store, around age 2.Once they figured out they had to leave if they did it,they never did it again. Parent your children.And while you're at it,take your damn trash out of the cart,I do NOT need your mickie d wrappers,coffee cups,and empty ciggie packs,really,I DON'T.
Next :X

My first grievance

2008-11-24T21:25:00.000-08:00

This blog came about when I was lamenting-ok, I was bitching, to my best friend about how it was too early in the holiday season for there to be this many stupid drivers near shopping centers and in parking lots. Twice in the past 2 days I've felt complete understanding for those who resort to road rage. Really, is driving THAT hard?? Or maybe it's the mere fact of having to make a decision.

Oh lordy, do I turn do this row OR go straight and turn down another?? Hmm, let me sit here, in the parking lot, no blinker and just let me think about. Never mind the cars behind me.

And while entering into a parking lot, let me be indecisive. How about I just stop in the lane and forget what that center TURN lane is for while I decide if I want to turn? And once I do decide, let me sit cockeyed and take up both lanes while I find the turn signal switch to turn it on.

Next.